Intimacy, intimacy, intimacy

If we are not invested in our partner on an emotional level, we are not making love. To make love is to be connected on these two levels – emotional and physical. Staying connected only on a single level is to just have sex. Sometimes couples do not even realize that this is causing a problem in their relationship. Partners just know that something does not feel right. A true partnership functions as a union. This means that when you partner is depressed, stressed and discontent with something in his or her life that you find the time to attend to his or her needs. You do not just go to bed, have sex and fall asleep and then wake up and go on with the next day. When your partner’s experiences become your own concern, you will know what a true partnership is. Only then, you will find true intimacy and a fulfilling relationship. Find time to help with chores around the house. Do not read your newspaper or watch TV during dinner. Do not answer phone calls during times when the two of you are spending quality time. Find time to compliment each other. Do not neglect your appearance just because you’ve already found someone to be with. Take risks and try out new things together. Start paying closer attention to your partner’s emotional state. Break the monotony of your relationship by breaking off from your usual routine. Do not plan on being physically intimate only on weekends when you’re off. Make your partner feel desired through the week. Sex does not per se equate intimacy. For example, you may want to take your partner out to dinner on Wednesday and perhaps on Friday share physical intimacy. Try to keep things like this in your relationship unpredictable. This will take the pressure from both of you. Your partner will feel attended to and you will have less pressure to perform. Do not set a routine because as you know routines become boring. Routines are also influenced by the events in our life and we do not always have control of the external situations in life.
Use the following activity to brain storm some ideas of how to enhance your intimacy.
1. How can I become more attentive to my partner on an emotional level?

2. What do I need to do to show my partner that I really care about their emotionality?
3. How can I show more emotional affection to my partner?

Excerpt from: Couple's Communiation Made Easy (audio book)

Intimacy

If you are not invested in your partner on an emotional level, you are not making love. To make love is to be connected on these two levels – emotional and physical. Sometimes couples do not even realize that this is causing a problem in their relationship. You probably just know intuitively that something does not feel right. A true partnership functions as a union. This means that when you partner is depressed, stressed out and discontent with something in his or her life that you find the time to attend to his or her needs. You do not just go to bed, have sex and fall asleep and then wake up and go on with your day in the morning. When your partner’s experiences become your own concern, you will know what a true partnership is. Only then, you will find true intimacy and a fulfilling relationship. Find some time to help with chores around the house. Try not to read your newspaper or watch TV during dinner and do not answer phone calls during those times when the two of you are spending quality time. Find time to compliment each other. Do not neglect your appearance just because you’ve already found someone to be with. Take risks and try new things together. (Liked what you've just read? Consider getting the book or making a donation)

Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)

Intimacy in a relationship

To make love is to be connected on these two levels – emotional and physical. Staying connected only on a single level is to just have sex. Sometimes couples do not even realize that this is causing a problem in their relationship. Partners just know that something does not feel right. A true partnership functions as a union. This means that when you partner is depressed, stressed and discontent with something in his or her life that you find the time to attend to his or her needs. You do not just go to bed, have sex and fall asleep and then wake up and go on with the next day. When your partner’s experiences become your own concern, you will know what a true partnership is. Only then, you will find true intimacy and a fulfilling relationship. Find time to help with chores around the house. Do not read your newspaper or watch TV during dinner. Do not answer phone calls during times when the two of you are spending quality time. Find time to compliment each other. Do not neglect your appearance just because you’ve already found someone to be with. Take risks and try out new things together. Start paying closer attention to your partner’s emotional state. Break the monotony of your relationship by breaking off from your usual routine. Do not plan on being physically intimate only on weekends when you’re off. Make your partner feel desired through the week. Sex does not per se equate intimacy. For example, you may want to take your partner out to dinner on Wednesday and perhaps on Friday share physical intimacy. Try to keep things like this in your relationship unpredictable. This will take the pressure from both of you. Your partner will feel attended to and you will have less pressure to perform. Do not set a routine because as you know routines become boring. Routines are also influenced by the events in our life and we do not always have control of the external situations in life.
Use the following activity to brain storm some ideas of how to enhance your intimacy.


How can I show more physical affection to my partner?
What makes your relationship appear dull and predictable?
What can you do to liven up your intimacy?
What makes you fear intimacy?

Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)

What is love (continuation...)

Psychologists have speculated whether feelings arise from our thoughts or whether our feelings generate thoughts. One plausible version is that thoughts produce feelings. When we focus on positive thoughts, our feelings change and as a result our actions reflect this in the outer world. A person has many thoughts during the course of the day. Some of our thoughts cause us to feel anxious, worried, peaceful or inpatient. Whatever the case is, the feelings we experience are the result of our own thoughts. If we put our energy into thinking how to help another sentient being, eliminate pollution in nature, or strive to evolve and connect with our inner wiser self, we would create a healthier atmosphere all around us. What we send into the universe comes back to us. The more love we send towards other sentient beings, the more love we will receive in return.
What we need to recognize is that love should be the driving force behind our growth, life, and aspirations. This is what the spiritual masters have taught through the ages. In Corinthians 13-8 we read, “Love is eternal.” God is eternal, which in turn translates to the well-known saying that God is Love.
Love is not a quality common and reserved only to humans. It is the essence of life. How can a person say that they love God but fail to love all of creation? We often hear that we have to love ourselves in order to love others. This does not come easy to some people because they have been wounded by others along their journeys, either psychologically, emotionally, or physically. Love therefore may be seen as another thing causing vulnerability. After all, no one wants to get hurt. When we withhold expressing love, we ultimately hurt ourselves in the long run.
The Master Beinsa Douno noted, “An intelligent man is a man who, even in the middle of the deepest darkness, can find the path that leads to God- the eternal and unchanging love in the universe.” In addition, the Dalai Lama points out that all sentient beings are equal. You can decide to love and be loved or continue to create unhealthy karmic patterns in your life. Freewill belongs to all of us and how we choose to exercise it is our responsibility. As we grow spiritually, we are able to recognize our uniqueness as well as our Oneness with all life forms. Sometimes we are scared of saying “I love you” because we fear that the other person may not say “I love you” back to us. Love is about giving freely without worrying about “what’s in for me”?

Excerpt from : Guru in Jeans: Inward Journey to Psychospiritual Awakening

Spice up your relationship

Spice Up Your Relationship

You may have been with you partner for many years or just several months. One of the secrets to making you relationship work as a well-lubed machine is bringing flavor into it on a consistent basis. Think of your relationship as an exotic meal and you and your partner as the cooks.
You will need to spice up your relationship continuously in order to keep it “hot”. This is where the real challenge comes in. Couples are busy tending to jobs, children, finances, societal and family obligations. After a while, partners begin to cohabitate or simply exist in a shared living area. Intimacy, leisure, and simple fun are replaced by the business of everyday demands, arguing, discontent and eventual dissatisfaction.
Miscommunication or lack of communication is only one of the problems on the surface. What is below the surface is a whole smorgasbord of other issues. Some of those issues resurface during couple’s therapy. For some it is lack of sexual desire, the need to overpower the other, boredom, lack of trust just to name a few.
Even if you have been in a relationship with your partner for a long time, boredom may creep in. Boredom in the bedroom and boredom during daily activities translates to boredom with the partnership in general. Intimacy is a sort of an art form. It takes work, dedication and creativity. It is essential to find out what you partner likes and what turns him or her on. You must stay consistent in making your partnership enjoyable and entertaining. If you do not work on improving and spicing up your relationship you may find yourself fantasizing to be elsewhere with someone else. If you are the only one spicing up your relationship, that is going to be in vain. It takes two people to make a relationship and it takes both partners to keep it candled. After all, no one wants to be kissed on the forehead when they come back from work. Parents kiss their children this way. This is a red flag. Perhaps your partner had a hard day at work or perhaps he or she does not find you sex - appealing anymore. You need to watch out for repetitive behaviors. They are the clue to how your relationship really is. People are not perfect so neither are you nor your partner. Listen to your inner voice and take notice.

 Here are some ideas to help you spice up and rekindle your relationship::
 Go for walks together
 Go to a comedy club
 Surprise each other by preparing a romantic (at home dinner)
 Go for a day trip to the park, historical town, zoo, botanical garden
 Eat dinner together without external distractions
 Go to a picnic in the park
 Prepare a special meal and have a kindle lit dinner
 Make time each week for at least 45 minutes to share your feelings and concerns with each other. Find out how your partner’s day at work went, how he or she is feeling etc.
 Go to a weekend get away (camping, log cabin, beach resort)
 Plant something together
 Engage in a foreplay (give each other a foot rub, use massage oils, candles, rose petals, sexy lingerie)
 Buy your partner something to make him/her feel special (example: cologne, jewelry, a CD, or gift card to their favorite store)

Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)