Monday, February 9, 2009

Staying connected in your relationship

The hassles of every day life interfere with out relationships more often than we realize. We have difficulty always remaining objective and detached in situations we encounter at work, church and even among our immediate family. We bring our wounds home where we feel the safest. Sometimes our partner may not understand the stressors or acknowledge our feelings. In return, we may become detached and withdrawn in our own protective bubble. You may not even take the time to just be with your partner and enjoy each other’s company. Yes, you may eat dinner together and go to bed together but your mind and emotions are somewhere else. You wonder when this period end will mean while continuing to drift apart from each other. In a healthy partnership respect and honesty are key components. You will need to learn how open up and share your feelings. Your partner may feel bombarded with your woes but a part of growing together is being together. Being together is not manifested only physically. Being together means being able to be available to offer support to each other. Sometimes all a partner needs is to be heard and vent out in a safe environment with the person they trust the most – you- the other half. You must realize that your partner does not necessarily expect you to fix the problem but just listen and be present. Intimacy is an art that needs mastering. Often times, I hear partners complaining that after they have married, their life with each other has become somewhat of a routine and express disappointment that their partner appears to be somewhat disconnected and involved either in his or her work, hobbies and friend. It is as though the level of comfort has replaced each other’s company and pushed out of the way the affection that was once shared.
 Use the following activity to jot down some ideas on how to stay consistent in your relationship.
1. How can you make yourself more available to your partner?

2. What do you need from your partner when you feel most vulnerable?

3. How can you let your partner know that you need support?
4. ...(Liked what you've just read? Consider getting the book or making a donation)

Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)