Friday, December 26, 2008

Before the Mozart Effect there was Suggestopedia

What is suggestopedia?

"Suggestopedia (in its new desuggestive development as well) is a science for developing different non-manipulative and non-hypnotic methods for teaching/learning of foreign languages and other subjects for every age-group on the level of reserve (potential, unused) capacities of the brain/mind. That means: at least three to five times faster, easier and deeper learning, inner freedom, increasing the motivation for learning, joyful learning and psycho-physiological well-being. The effectiveness as well as the benefits of the genuine method have been confirmed by the most prestigious international commissions and scientists. The genuine method has been also officially tested and highly evaluated from one international expert group of UNESCO that recommended the method to be applied all over the world." Lozanov

"Suggestopedia is one of the teaching methods developed by Bulgarian psychotherapist Georgi Lozanov based on the study of Suggestology. The method has been used in different fields of studies but mostly in the field of foreign language learning. Lozanov claimed that by using this method one can teach languages approximately three to five times as quickly as conventional methods.

The theory applied positive suggestion in teaching when it was developed in the 1970s. However, as improved, it has focused more on “desuggestive learning” and now is often called “desuggestopedia.” [1] Suggestopedia is the latest of the six major foreign-language teaching methods known to language teaching experts (the oldest being the grammar translation method.) The name of Suggestopedia is from the words “suggestion” and “pedagogy.” Wikipedia

More information on suggestopedia

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Bureaucratic Frustration

Here is my latest one-
I am a licensed counselor and applied to be a counselor/provider for one of the mental health insurance companies. I got rejected today (because they "have too many counselors in the area") Isn't this ridiculous? I am going to appeal this because I can provide counseling and hypnosis in 4 languages and do not believe there are that many others in the area who can do so.
If a person/client wants to shop and "hire" any of us out there, so much the better. Variety is best; don't you think? The insurance does not really owe me anything unless I file a claim once I see a client (and you wait about 3-4 weeks to get your little check from them). They won't lose money if I don't get to see a client. They pay a measly $42 an hour (of which as a contracted counselor I would have to pay 30% to the company where I would do the counseling) But the catch 22 is that if I am not on an insurance panel I won't be able to get a contractor opportunities...
So, do the math and figure out what frustrations are out there for poor counselors like myself. To even make a decent living you'd have to see people 6 or 7 days a week all day long (and I am only trying to do this on the weekends) since I have a different job during the week. I need to mention that if a client does not cancel and then no shows you waste your time and gasoline driving to the office. If a client at the end of the sessions says "oops, I forgot my wallet.." you don't get paid at all or you don't get paid the patient' co-pay...
I guess one goes to school and spends thousands of $ (I owe a second mortgage on my schooling and licensing) works at practicums for free for 9 months and then begs and fights to work in ones field. Yeap!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Equality in a relationship

... a relationship should be based on equality. In relationship without equality one partner tries to control the other. Many fall into the trap of believing that their partner loves them because she or he says so. They become blind to the fact that their partner controls them through jealousy, threats, and continuous inquiry of an account of their daily activities. This is an unhealthy relationship. Being in a partnership does not constitute a loss of individuality. A healthy relationship is build upon trust.
 Use the following guide to rate how you see your partner’s governing style in your relationship.
Democratic (egalitarian)
 Making decisions together (listening to each other’s ideas)
 Respecting each other’s space/comfort zone
 Assuming mutual responsibilities for kids/pets/finances
 Allowing the other to express themselves freely (no put downs)
 Not demanding but asking
 Power is shared equally (no one is the boss of the other)
Disempowering (authoritarian) Ordering the other person around
 Disregarding the other person’s ideas
 Making decisions for the other
 Criticizing without giving positive feedback
 Demanding versus asking; physically assaulting when angry
 Expecting that things are done versus helping
Disengaged (disconnected) Not engaging in activities together
 Lack of concern; not offering to help
 Doing ones own thing
 Disregarding the other’s feelings
 Leaving the relationship openly (moving out, divorce, separation)
1. Do you notice any similarities between each other’s answers?

2. What do you think contributes to this?

If you check more than three categories in each style, it is possible that you identify your partner with that style of governing pattern. The Disempowering and Disengaged relationship styles cause the most tension between partners because they are not based on equality or concern for the other within a relationship. The Democratic style offers flexibility and ensures respect in a relationship while providing autonomy to each partner.

Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Friday, December 12, 2008

Holiday Shopping Made Easy

Hate going to the stores trying to find a parking spot, dread the long lines and people who would happen to try and look at the exact same item as you do etc...????
Make it easy on yourself. Here is how - my tested ideas -

1) (has free shipping on many items) or $2.95 (also you can use the bill me later option and won't have to pay for 90 days)

2) Fredericks of Hollywood has many items on sale (cheaper than Victoria's Secret and even sexier)

3) Venus has wonderful deals on outfits and accessories

4) Swanson is great if you're buying for a health nut (they have the most affordable herbs and supplements) 5) for beauty products and books

6) A.R.E. has horoscopes for reasonable price (you can get one for yourself or someone else)

7) Let's not forget the option for a gift for the two of you from Adam & Eve

8) for the Chocoholic of course chocolate from Dan's Chocolates

9) for the Euro kafe lovers check out Gevalia Coffee and thier gift options

10) Palm Beach Jewelry has affordable gifts (and even a 3 months 0% payment plan option)

Holiday Gifts for Girlfriends

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Intimacy in a relationship

To make love is to be connected on these two levels – emotional and physical. Staying connected only on a single level is to just have sex. Sometimes couples do not even realize that this is causing a problem in their relationship. Partners just know that something does not feel right. A true partnership functions as a union. This means that when you partner is depressed, stressed and discontent with something in his or her life that you find the time to attend to his or her needs. You do not just go to bed, have sex and fall asleep and then wake up and go on with the next day. When your partner’s experiences become your own concern, you will know what a true partnership is. Only then, you will find true intimacy and a fulfilling relationship. Find time to help with chores around the house. Do not read your newspaper or watch TV during dinner. Do not answer phone calls during times when the two of you are spending quality time. Find time to compliment each other. Do not neglect your appearance just because you’ve already found someone to be with. Take risks and try out new things together. Start paying closer attention to your partner’s emotional state. Break the monotony of your relationship by breaking off from your usual routine. Do not plan on being physically intimate only on weekends when you’re off. Make your partner feel desired through the week. Sex does not per se equate intimacy. For example, you may want to take your partner out to dinner on Wednesday and perhaps on Friday share physical intimacy. Try to keep things like this in your relationship unpredictable. This will take the pressure from both of you. Your partner will feel attended to and you will have less pressure to perform. Do not set a routine because as you know routines become boring. Routines are also influenced by the events in our life and we do not always have control of the external situations in life.
Use the following activity to brain storm some ideas of how to enhance your intimacy.

How can I show more physical affection to my partner?
What makes your relationship appear dull and predictable?
What can you do to liven up your intimacy?
What makes you fear intimacy?

Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

What is love (continuation...)

Psychologists have speculated whether feelings arise from our thoughts or whether our feelings generate thoughts. One plausible version is that thoughts produce feelings. When we focus on positive thoughts, our feelings change and as a result our actions reflect this in the outer world. A person has many thoughts during the course of the day. Some of our thoughts cause us to feel anxious, worried, peaceful or inpatient. Whatever the case is, the feelings we experience are the result of our own thoughts. If we put our energy into thinking how to help another sentient being, eliminate pollution in nature, or strive to evolve and connect with our inner wiser self, we would create a healthier atmosphere all around us. What we send into the universe comes back to us. The more love we send towards other sentient beings, the more love we will receive in return.
What we need to recognize is that love should be the driving force behind our growth, life, and aspirations. This is what the spiritual masters have taught through the ages. In Corinthians 13-8 we read, “Love is eternal.” God is eternal, which in turn translates to the well-known saying that God is Love.
Love is not a quality common and reserved only to humans. It is the essence of life. How can a person say that they love God but fail to love all of creation? We often hear that we have to love ourselves in order to love others. This does not come easy to some people because they have been wounded by others along their journeys, either psychologically, emotionally, or physically. Love therefore may be seen as another thing causing vulnerability. After all, no one wants to get hurt. When we withhold expressing love, we ultimately hurt ourselves in the long run.
The Master Beinsa Douno noted, “An intelligent man is a man who, even in the middle of the deepest darkness, can find the path that leads to God- the eternal and unchanging love in the universe.” In addition, the Dalai Lama points out that all sentient beings are equal. You can decide to love and be loved or continue to create unhealthy karmic patterns in your life. Freewill belongs to all of us and how we choose to exercise it is our responsibility. As we grow spiritually, we are able to recognize our uniqueness as well as our Oneness with all life forms. Sometimes we are scared of saying “I love you” because we fear that the other person may not say “I love you” back to us. Love is about giving freely without worrying about “what’s in for me”?

Excerpt from : Guru in Jeans: Inward Journey to Psychospiritual Awakening

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Pill and Libido

Monday, December 1, 2008

Reasonable vs. Unreasonable Expectations in parenting

When a parent changes his expectations of the child, something great happens―there is a change in the outcome of behavior. Parents who are sensitive to the needs of their child are prone to having more reasonable expectations than those who merely react to their child’s behavior. Expectations that are clear and age appropriate are those that will most likely be met by the child. On the other hand, expectations that are either too high or age inappropriate will be unmet. For example, a parent who is allowing her twelve-year-old daughter to do her own laundry but fights with her to have her load the dishwasher is not having realistic expectations of the daughter. A father who expects his five-year-old son to do his baby sister’s laundry in addition to cleaning the bathroom every evening is expecting a bit too much from the child.
At times, parents who have not been actively present in the child’s life―for example, if the child was raised by extended family members, came from a foster home, or was raised primarily by the sole custodian or guardian―face issues they must address, and they may lack the tools to parent effectively.
This may be a common occurrence in situations where the child has suffered an illness for a prolonged period of time. It is not unusual for parents to try and rescue the child by trying to meet each of his needs. This is not helpful to the child because it does not allow him to develop a sense of age-appropriate autonomy and responsibility. In the long run, the parent will feel frustrated when the child does not meet the set expectations, and the parent will continue to do injustice to the youngster. An example is the case of the twelve-year-old girl from whom the parent expects only the minimum. In that scenario the daughter may grow up to be overly dependent on others and irresponsible. Correcting behaviors early in the child’s development is important in ensuring that the child develops moral and ethical healthy character. Children should be able to participate in family life by having on-going age-appropriate responsibilities.
Excerpt from: My Kid is Acting Out and I am about to shout: Effective Parenting Made Easy (audio book)