Friday, November 28, 2008

Spice up your relationship

Spice Up Your Relationship

You may have been with you partner for many years or just several months. One of the secrets to making you relationship work as a well-lubed machine is bringing flavor into it on a consistent basis. Think of your relationship as an exotic meal and you and your partner as the cooks.
You will need to spice up your relationship continuously in order to keep it “hot”. This is where the real challenge comes in. Couples are busy tending to jobs, children, finances, societal and family obligations. After a while, partners begin to cohabitate or simply exist in a shared living area. Intimacy, leisure, and simple fun are replaced by the business of everyday demands, arguing, discontent and eventual dissatisfaction.
Miscommunication or lack of communication is only one of the problems on the surface. What is below the surface is a whole smorgasbord of other issues. Some of those issues resurface during couple’s therapy. For some it is lack of sexual desire, the need to overpower the other, boredom, lack of trust just to name a few.
Even if you have been in a relationship with your partner for a long time, boredom may creep in. Boredom in the bedroom and boredom during daily activities translates to boredom with the partnership in general. Intimacy is a sort of an art form. It takes work, dedication and creativity. It is essential to find out what you partner likes and what turns him or her on. You must stay consistent in making your partnership enjoyable and entertaining. If you do not work on improving and spicing up your relationship you may find yourself fantasizing to be elsewhere with someone else. If you are the only one spicing up your relationship, that is going to be in vain. It takes two people to make a relationship and it takes both partners to keep it candled. After all, no one wants to be kissed on the forehead when they come back from work. Parents kiss their children this way. This is a red flag. Perhaps your partner had a hard day at work or perhaps he or she does not find you sex - appealing anymore. You need to watch out for repetitive behaviors. They are the clue to how your relationship really is. People are not perfect so neither are you nor your partner. Listen to your inner voice and take notice.

 Here are some ideas to help you spice up and rekindle your relationship::
 Go for walks together
 Go to a comedy club
 Surprise each other by preparing a romantic (at home dinner)
 Go for a day trip to the park, historical town, zoo, botanical garden
 Eat dinner together without external distractions
 Go to a picnic in the park
 Prepare a special meal and have a kindle lit dinner
 Make time each week for at least 45 minutes to share your feelings and concerns with each other. Find out how your partner’s day at work went, how he or she is feeling etc.
 Go to a weekend get away (camping, log cabin, beach resort)
 Plant something together
 Engage in a foreplay (give each other a foot rub, use massage oils, candles, rose petals, sexy lingerie)
 Buy your partner something to make him/her feel special (example: cologne, jewelry, a CD, or gift card to their favorite store)

Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)