Friday, January 23, 2009

Express your feelings openly with your partner

Did you know that not talking is a way of communicating something just as when you use words to express yourself? If you are unclear as to what your partner is trying to tell you, ask. There is still some information coming your way because research stresses that a large percent of what we communicate is done non verbally. For example, if you have tired to express a certain concern to your partner at some point and he or she rejected you, you may shy away from bring up that topic again for a while. Another person may react by becoming more forcefully and vocal. It all depends on your personality. Bottling up your feelings is not healthy since you may become resentful or disappointed and as a result, blame your partner for the way you feel. Remember that you have to claim what you feel because only you can choose your feelings and how to express them. When you are in a conflict with another person, it is often the result of two things: one, you believe that the other person is trying to change you, and two, you are trying to change the other person either consciously or unconsciously. The reason behind this is your belief that you will become more content, happy, satisfied and less stressed in your relationship. It is natural to want to decrease the unpleasant experiences in your life. What you may not realize however, is that conflict arises when the other person’s autonomy is not respected. Arguments, fighting, and miscommunication occur when you partner feels that his or her self and point of view are being disregarded. During an argument, you may feel that you are right and the other person wrong. If both of you agree on something...(Liked what you've just read? Consider getting the book or making a donation)

Excerpt from : Couple's Communication Made Easy (audio book)